Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen - Backwards

maybe me call so that know should you and bad so you missed i life my into came you before bad so ,so you missed i ...bad so you missed i bad so you missed i life my into came you before
 maybe me call so ,number my s'here but ,me chase to try ,boys other the all and maybe me call so ,number my s'here but crazy is this and ,you met just i ,hey
 maybe me call so ,number my s'here but baby you at ,right look to hard s'it
 bad so ,so you missed i ...that know should you and bad so you missed i life my into came you before bad so ,so you missed i ...bad so you missed i bad so you missed i life my into came you before
 maybe me call so ,number my s'here but chase to try ,boys other the all and maybe me call so ,number my s'here but crazy is this and ,you met just i ,hey
 maybe me call so ,number my s'here but baby you at ,right look to hard s'it maybe me call so ,number my s'here but crazy is this and ,you met just i ,hey
 ?baby ,going re'you think you where blowing was wind ,night hot showing was skin ,jeans ripped holding was stare your way my in s'it but ,it feel would i know t'didn i real s'it and sight first at steal and borrow and beg i way my in re'you still but ,all at nothing me gave you fall the with time no took i call the with time your took you
 maybe me call so ,number my s'here but me chase to try ,boys other the all and maybe me call so ,number my s'here but crazy is this and ,you met just i ,hey
 maybe me call so ,number my s'here but baby you at ,right look to hard s'it maybe me call so ,number my s'here but crazy is this and ,you met just i ,hey
 ?baby going re'you think you where blowing was wind ,night hot showing was skin ,jeans ripped holding was stare your way my in re'you now but this for looking t'wasn i kiss a for dimes and pennies wish a for soul my trade i
 way my in re'you now and fell it as you to looked i tell never ll'i ,me ask t'don well the in wish a threw i

Happy (late) Anniversary to My Lonely Blog!

Raise your voice and shout, "hooray"!
For if we go back 57 days,
To August 20th we will find,
The Anniversary of when a blog, I tried.

A short, one-stanza poem proclaiming that, Hey!  It's been over a year since I started this junk!

I've had so much fun doing it!  Thank you so much for supporting my blog, and for actually thinking I'm funny!  It means a lot!

I've had a revelation.  I have decided that YOU guys should suggest topics for my posts.

Email diemmori@gmail.com, or fill out the contact form at the bottom of the page suggesting a topic for me to write about!  I'm excited to hear what you guys have to say!

10 Things to Not Do on Facebook if You Want Your Friends To Like You.

A recent issue has come up for me.  I have found much annoyance from that social networking site.

What's it called again?

Oh yeah.

Facebook.

Who came up with that demonic website anyways?  No, I have not seen that documentary about the guy who invented Facebook.  And I'm too lazy to look it up.

So don't ask.

In a result of the constant frustration I receive from my Facebook account, I have decided to present a list of things you should NEVER do on Facebook.

Or I will kill you.

1. Never poke people.  Do you know how useless that is?  Imagine doing that in real life.  Everyone would hate you.
                                     

2. NEVER WRITE IN ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME LIKE THIS.  IT'S SUPER ANNOYING.
3. Don't do those weird shapes.  Like † and ∑, or √.  It makes all the people who can't do them jealous of you.
4. if u tok like dis its sups annoys 2 ppl who r nrml.  Talk normally.  Talk like I do.
5. Do not mix up your "you're" and "your".  Do you know how annoying it is when people say "Your welcome"? 

6. Do not send people friend requests if you do not know them.  If the person receives a friend request from a person they can't remember at all, they stress out and get depressed, having them hate themselves, resulting in suicide over your stupid little friend request.  So don't do it.
7. Do not not message people back.   Yeah, you heard me right.  If you told someone you would message them, and don't.  Ooooh… I hate that.
8. Do not share every single thing you see.  I can just imagine those spammers right now… clicking everything that's highlighted in blue.  Leave space for other people to say things.
9. Don't let your account get hacked.  My account's never gotten hacked.  Why should yours?  Is it that hard to change your password every once in awhile?  Click here for comic.
10. Don't send anyone game requests.  You can be in your own little nerdy world BY YOURSELF.  You don't have to bring us normal people into it.

Well folks, that's really all about Facebook that bugs me.  Simply 10 things.  You think it would be hard to fix that.

But no one does,

And everyone does those things... so please stop.

Please make Facebook tolerable.

Werewolf Pirates!!

Yes, the title is a little random.  But I can explain.  Recently, my activities have gotten a little more... creative.  Not as funny, just creative.  Today I spent tons of time making a painting of a werewolf.

That's the painting I made.  Also, I recorded my computer while doing it.  Sorry for the watermark.  It's the only thing I have.  It's about 1000% of real time, so... enjoy.

Alone (sketch)

Comic: Corruption

Summer Employment (Ha!!)

Ah... yes. Summer. Don't we all love that wonderful season? When you're in high school, there's no stress, no homework, no school. As long as you didn't fail or don't want to catch up on some credits. And if you don't have Driver's Education.

Not looking forward to that...

Anyway, I have been in a severe lack of mulah. So my parents decided to try their best to employ me.

Our first attempt was to reroof our old house. My dad would pay me 60 cents per shingle. It was a great deal! That's a whole lot of money!


It would have worked out great if the roof itself wasn't rotting.

That's right.  Several areas of the roof are extremely weak.  I bet if you jumped up and down really hard, you'd fall right through.

That sounds fun.  I am going to try that sometime.

So the roof was out.  I was an unemployed teen with nothing to do.  And I really wanted to buy Minecraft.

So my dad decided to pay me to dig out rose bushes. $3 for a small bush, and $4 for a big bush.  

But I knew something he did not.  The big bushes take hours to dig out.  The small ones? 5 - 10 minutes.  

My ingenious plan was to dig out 6 rose bushes to get the rest of the money I needed to buy Minecraft.

So I started digging.  The only problem was, there were only 5 small bushes.  $3 short, I desperately decided to dig out a medium sized bush.

That took about three times longer than the rest of the bushes combined took.

After I was finished, I rejoiced in my victory, put away the shovel, and asked my dad to pay me so I could buy Minecraft.

I am now able to build stuff in a block world.  Was that worth it?

But, alas, that was not over.  I now need a hundred dollars to pay for this Vocal Camp thing that I really want to do.

So my mom decided to pay me $6 an hour to clear out the garden of weeds with a shovel.

You might say, "Oh, that not too hard.  It's just weeding."

It wouldn't be hard if our garden wasn't a jungle.

I hate that job.  I don't get paid much, and it gets my hands covered in dirt and makes me smell like rotting plants.

Is that worth it?  Is working worth it?

Is money worth it?

Yes...

No, more like this:

Sunset

Limbo and Other Useless Skills

I have recently been asking myself, what on earth has happened to this blog?  Well, I came up with an excuse.  The inter-tubes got clogged.

High School Registration is coming up.
Fun?

No.

We'll be in a match to the death to get the classes we want.

I'll try my best to keep my temper.

.............................

It's over.  It was actually pretty easy.  I just sat in anxiety for about an hour, waiting for registration to open up. It went quite well, though.  I got all the classes I wanted.  Isn't that good?

I think so.

Unless the classes I wanted stink.


I have come to a new realization:

I'm fairly good at the limbo.  Random, right?  Well it turns out I have good quad strength.  I figured out that doing the limbo uses your quads.  After I felt the burning pain of sore muscles on the front of my legs.

Anyway!  Sorry I haven't posted for so long!  Life has just been so exciting!  Much more to do than sit at my computer trying to think of funny things to write about!

Right?

If I was good enough, I could make this a full-time job.  I'd never have to go to school again!

Why are all my drawings of me at the computer making weird expressions?

I heard a song recently.  It went like this:

The Moose the moose

Swimming in the water
Eating his supper
Where did he go?
He went to sleep
He went to sleep
He went tooooooooooo sleep
Dead moose Dead moose
Floating in the water
Not eating his supper
Where did he go?
He decomposed
He decomposed
Heeeeeeeee decomposed


Sweet song, right?  Doesn't it fill you with bundles of joy?  Like sunshine and lollipops?  

Steampunk!

I was bored on my computer a little while ago, so I decided to make a steampunk insignia.  Don't steal it, or you'l suffer my wrath.  Graa!!  I worked rather hard on this.

The Empty Land

I just got back from Iowa. Now you may ask, what on earth were you doing in Iowa? Is there anything out there?

The answer is:

No.

There's not even mountains out there. It's completely ridiculous. Although, the trees and farms are quite pretty. If you think irrigation enticing. I know someone who does.

If you think about it, irrigation is rather cool. It sprays water everywhere. And if there's enough it makes a giant puddle, do you know how awesome that would be? Have you ever thought about playing in one of those?

The true reason I was in the Iowa area was religion. And my brother lives there.

Have you ever been to one of those historical towns where there's a bunch of people dressed up as cowboys?

Well I went to a historical town where there was a bunch of old people dressed as pioneers.

I won a mini horse shoe from the blacksmith because my birthday was 22 days away from his.

The chances, right? I feel rather guilty for depriving the little children there of their gheto horse shoe. Maybe I'll repay the younger generation someday by giving them a horse shoe the size of an egg. Or maybe I'll repay them by trying to find a horse that would actually fit the thing.

Did you know if you eat out too much you get sick of it?

I did know that, and it happened.

AGAIN.

The first experience was when I was much younger. My family decided to go on a trip to California, to visit Disney Land, Universal Studios, and Sea World on the same trip. The thing is, you're not allowed to bring food into those parks, so you have to buy their gross fast food.

You get sick of that fast.

This time, we took an airplane, so of course, we had to eat out for most of our meals.

Gross.

I totally bombed my mongolian barbecue. It was disgusting.

To close, I would like to discuss the comment of Friday Comic: Ice Cream.

Madi said: "id dont get it"

What?

First of all, learn to spell and punctuate correctly. I can butcher you on this.

I think by "id" you meant "I", which should be capitalized to clarify, because I'm not sure you would get that correct.

"dont" should be "don't"

And there should be a period on the end.

Now that we've cleared that up and my need to correct grammar has been satisfied, I will reply to what you meant to say.

What on earth don't you get?  It's totally awkward. Everybody else got it. It actually happened to me. It's a real-life experience. It's funny, too. I don't understand your sense of humor. Maybe you could clarify on what you are looking for in these posts to make you smile so I could satisfy you, but I'll try my best to do it without advice.

Does the color yellow make you laugh?

Or how about a sheep?

Or a fence?

Or a sheep jumping over a fence?

Or a famer that's missing some teeth?

Or corn?

Or a UFO abducting a sheep?

Or… never mind. You don't deserve that.

How about an ice cream cone, just to mock you?

Or Iowa?

Friday Comic: Ice Cream

Astris: The Science Fiction Novel

News, everyone!  I am now starting to write an epic science fiction novel based on this blog!  Well, the characters anyway.  Plot to be presented.

Every time I finish a new chapter, it will hit this blog.  This'll be awesome.

Enjoy!

It might take awhile....

3 Creative Ways to Eat a Chicken

Weird topic, right?  Credit to Redd for this idea.  In this post, I will tell you readers all the ways I can think of to eat a chicken, besides the normal way.

This will be fun.

If anyone sends me a video of them eating chicken any of these ways....



I will be amazed.

Way #1:    On a string!

Have you ever been to those parties where they have those donuts tied to a string, and you have to eat them without using your hands?

Eat that chicken this way.  I dare you.

Can you imagine the grease and fat that would get all over your face?  I shiver just thinking about it.  How much would you have to scrub your face before it wouldn't be slippery anymore?  It would be the perfect time to get slapped.  It'd slide right off.




Way #2:  You wait.

Before you eat your chicken, make sure you wait a couple months with it sitting out in your garage, exposed to room temperature and all kinds of mold and bacteria.

Yum?

Um.... I could debate that.

Just prepare for all kinds of diseases, and eventually your early death.  I am not responsible for anyone who dies or gets any injury whatsoever while eating green chicken.  Not ham, chicken.

Way #3:  You don't.

Who wants to eat chicken, anyway, when you can run around on a rampage, hitting people with it?  That's much more fun, right?  I tend to think so.


Just....

...don't get arrested.

Valentine's Day (why I hated it)

Ha!  Guess what major holiday I missed?  Valentine's Day!

Well, I didn't miss it, I just forgot to post about it.  I just never got around to it, you know?

To be honest, the holiday was.... excellent, for me!  Well, the holi part was, anyway.  The actual day, on the other hand, was... not so much.  To start off explaining why my Valentine's Day was so glum, I would like to say how it was nice.
Well, no, actually...

That's classified.

Let's just say it was excellent, but now I call that holiday "Single Awareness Day", for reasons not presented at this time.

So the reasons that Valentine's Day wasn't as wonderful as it could have been, were the following:

First, I got yelled at by a scary teacher.

I'm in my school choir, and we were sent to go about in small groups, serenading "special someones."  They were treated to a bunch of my stinky breath and saliva.  Why, you ask?  Because apparently I am talented in the art of vocal percussion, or as the modern people say it, beat-boxing.

I don't do it because I'm good, I do it because it's fun.  And for some reason people think I'm good.

Whatever, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, first of all, I could embarrass myself in front of all the hipsters who actually can beat-box well.

Second of all, the hardest thing about it is breathing in the right places.  After you've been doing it for awhile, you start to get tired....

...and then you pass out...

Anyway, trying to stay on topic...



We were in the middle of serenading when I stumbled upon a classroom.

Who would've thought you'd find school in school?

Well I looked inside of that room, and saw a kid in my Geography class.  So?  Well, it was in the Geography classroom.  Forgetting that the teacher also taught English along with Geography, I called, "What the heck are you doing in that class?"

I then remembered the English thing and started to walk away, when I heard a smart remark from the classroom.  It wasn't a voice I recognized, and sounded like the one of a teenager.  It definitely wasn't a teacher.  So, I returned to the classroom, and peered in, and to my surprise I saw a teacher that was from another class, teaching that class.

Yes, that's exactly what she said to me.  Embarrassed, I snuck away from the classroom, dreading what would happen to me when there was authority over me.  Luckily, we worked it out and everything was okay.


The second thing that happened was that I got yelled at by my friends.

I got a mystery valentine and I had an idea who it was from.  I presented it to my friends, saying it was from that girl, and then they freaked out.

No, they didn't actually say that, but they did say the first two sentences and yelled at me like I was stupid and annoying.  It just felt like they were saying that.

So... yeah.... that's why I hated valentine's day.  No, I didn't actually hate it.  I had mixed feelings about it.  It was lovely and totally worth all those miserable things that happened.

It was a lovely exchange.

But now it's gone.

Friday Comic: Awkward....

It's only awkward if you make it awkward.... unless it actually is awkward.

I Wonder...

I have often wondered what life would be like if many odd things were socially accepted.

For instance, wouldn't it be the best if humans were capable of bio-luminescence?

I think that would be totally awesome.  Is it weird that I'm envious of deep-sea fish?






Or maybe, what if we all looked like the Hindu gods?

How strange life would be.  You know, I've thought about a lot of different things.  I've also thought about what it would be like if everyone were mermaids and had gills.

And, the final thing I've thought about, is what if our society wasn't so anti-social?  Think of the conversations we would have!

Heh.  Imagine how that conversation would turn out.  If anyone tries to start a conversation that way, I will award you with brownie points.  No, brownie points are not redeemable.

What if they were?

You'd most likely be ignored.

It would be hard to keep track of it all, too.

What if you earned too many brownie points?
It'd be interesting how many brownies you'd get.  I'd get sick.